I’ve been moving my entire life. Prior to the age of 23 I had never lived in any one city longer than 7 years, and even at the age of 23 I had spent four years living in that city part time while attending college in another state.
You’d think that I’d be used to it all by now. The leaving a comfortable home, familiar roads, faces of best friends - it should have all been old hat. It was supposed to be easy, I was finally able to choose where I was heading, I wasn’t at the mercy of my father’s company anymore. I had been trying not to get too attached to my company, my coworkers, I had lived here before, I knew the well-worn road between the city of my alma mater and my hometown. I convinced myself I had friends in the new city and would still see my friends and family in my old one.
But therein lies the rub. I have never once in my life vocalized that my old city was my hometown. I never claimed it on Facebook, I made an effort to never tell my friends from college that I made it “home” during breaks from school, it was supposed to just be a stop on my story of life.
And then I found another job. I found an apartment. I quit my job. I told my friends. And then I cried. I cried for everything I was leaving behind - all the wonderful coworkers who inspired me to be the best at what I do, one of my closest friends, the family members who I was just getting to know on a deeper level.
It’s been two months and I feel like I haven’t stopped crying. I know it’s going to get better. It has to. It always has.
I even have a built in group of friends in town. But it’s different. They’ve had lives here for the past 4 years, they have routines, they have significant others and groups of friends who don’t know me. It’s familiar, but it’s brand new.
So here I am, in a brand new apartment that I’m trying to outfit without spending a million dollars, finally on my own in the town I said would be perfect for me, employed at a great company doing a job that was always a “dream job” for me and it all seems slightly empty.
That’s my story. That’s why I’m here. I’ve decided to discover myself through a blog, to try to work through my issues with a new place, a new job and a new way of interacting with friends. They keep telling me I’m an adult, maybe I’ll find out I am here.